


So We Beat On

by Midnight_Goldstone



Category: British Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Infidelity, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:11:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4967554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Goldstone/pseuds/Midnight_Goldstone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom Hiddleston is your boyfriend and you two have been together for four years. Everything is going spectacularly well until you return from a business trip to find Tom in your shared bed with another woman. You discover that they have been seeing each other on and off for the past year. You leave your house in tears and turn to the closest friend you have in England, Benedict Cumberbatch. Thinking that you had nowhere else to turn, Tom makes his way to Ben's house to find you in his best friend's arms. He gets jealous even though the pair of you aren't doing anything that could be construed as anything close to what he did. Angst, angst and more angst. Title taken from the Great Gatsby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You gazed at Tom's sleeping face and sighed as you thought about the two weeks you would be parted from him. Your hand reached out to stroke his lovely cream skin caressed by the early, golden morning light and his face tilted to nuzzle your palm in his sleep. You giggled at his antics and leaned closer to him so you could kiss his pouting lips, the first few brushes he was oblivious to then you heard his quietly surprised sound in the back of his throat and then his fingers were running through your hair and his other arm came around to grasp your waist and pull you tightly against his muscled body. You sighed deeply into his mouth and melted at his touch, he clambered on top of you and you couldn't help the tears that escaped through your closed lids and slid down into your hair, he clasped your face in his hands and stared until your eyes opened to meet his, his own watered as you both thought of the many kilometres that would separate the two of you for fourteen days. Of course you had had to brave this predicament before, and for far longer, but it hurt just the same as it always did. 

Tom leaned again to meld your mouths together and you moaned when you felt his tongue slip into your mouth, the softness of his lips almost broke your heart and you gave yourself over to him as you could only do. His hands grasped the flimsy silk of your night dress and brought it up over your head. His hands massaged your breasts until your nipples peaked and he sucked the first one into his mouth while his hand teased the other with his fingers. Before too long you were writhing underneath your lover desperate to feel his touch elsewhere and he moved his mouth, sucking and licking as he went, down to the soaked cotton of your panties he groaned when his lips touched the wet fabric and you jumped at the first lick to your hardened clit. He sucked at your pussy through your panties and your hands grasped the curled strands of his hair. He ripped your panties down your thighs and threw them across the room before he dove in and began to positively devour your cunt. You moaned loudly at the light nibbles on your clit and the lapping of your hole, he growled as you tugged his hair and he forced his tongue into your pussy and stayed there wiggling it until you screamed. One finger slipped inside you and you loved the way how just one of his fingers could make you feel, he rubbed at your sweet spot and sucked on your clit until the first tingles of your impending orgasm could be felt in the pit of your belly, you clenched tight around his finger and your thighs crushed his face to your cunt as you came hard. He moaned at the fresh burst of slick the washed onto his tongue and he continued to suck until your legs fell apart and your shaking hands pried him away. His face came into view and you took in his wet mouth and chin through half-closed eyes, your hands dragged his face closer and he groaned as you licked your essence from his skin. You put your mouth to his ear and sucked his lobe into your mouth and nibbled at it until he growled and grasped your hips tightly in his hands, you let go and whispered, "Please Tom, fuck me." 

He groaned and reached down to pull himself out of his boxers, not bothering to slip them off and he lined the leaking head of his cock to your throbbing pussy and moaned as he slipped inside. You cried out, the thickness and length of his cock something that you'll never quite get used to, and pulled his head to yours from where it had been buried in your chest. You panted against each other's mouths and licked at each other's tongues, Tom's pace grew steadily quicker until you could feel his balls slapping at your ass and you moaned at his growls and whispered "Oh fuck's" every few seconds. 

"Fuck baby, I'm going to miss fucking you so fucking much. Your cunt feels so fucking good wrapped around my cock, I love the way you sound when my face is buried in your wet pussy, always so fucking needy and gorgeous. You're mine, darling you're all mine and we're doing this the second you walk through that door baby. I love you so fucking much." 

You cry out his name and come at his words, your second orgasm surprising both you and him. Tom growls at the feeling of your clenching cunt on his cock and his hips stutter as he spills himself inside you. He whispers "I love you" as he continues to slowly pump his cock inside you and you whisper it back whilst stroking his hair and back. He buried his face into your neck and presses lovely soft kisses there and moaned at the feeling of your hands in his hair and his cock softening inside you. You both fell asleep for a while until your alarm woke the both of you up and it was time to get ready to go to the airport. You cried as he kissed you goodbye in front of all the paparazzi and you waved goodbye one last time, hoping that the time would fly by until you saw each other again. And it did. You arrived a day early from your trip because of your refusal to take days off to sight see. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> because if ya'll know just one thing about me, you'll know that I love me some angsty angst

You excitedly unlocked the front door of yours and Tom's home, dragging your suitcase in through the door behind you and almost dumping everything immediately. Your jacket was thrown to the floor and your keys into the dish on the side table. You ran up the stairs taking two at a time and was about to walk through your bedroom door when you heard Tom talking, you assumed that he was talking on the phone and you paused, smiling to yourself as you listened to the tenor of his voice through the wood of your door. Then the giggle of a woman reached your ears and time seemed to stop, it was as if you were experiencing this moment from outside your body, as a third person looking down at the scene. You turned the doorknob praying for some explanation you could laugh about, you hoped your blood hadn't frozen and your skin hadn't pricked for the reason you immediately rushed to. Tom was the love of your life, Ben joked about how he had a betting pool with your group of friends about how long it was until the proposal, you and Tom would just blush and look into each other's eyes, enjoying just being together for now. 

You heard a moan and the sound of Tom growling, a sound you thought you were the only person in the world could cause, and you pushed the door open to gasp at the scene before you. Tom was midway fucking some blonde in the bed you thought you would conceive your first child in with the man of your dreams, the man who was grasping the thighs of the woman he was fucking so he could get his cock in deeper. They hadn't seen you yet and you couldn't help the angry tears that streamed down your face, the two of them continued to fuck and moan as if they were still alone and you felt like you were going to throw up from the sight alone. "You absolute cunt, Thomas Hiddleston," you spat out. You just briefly caught a glance of Tom's shocked face looking at you and the woman beneath him gasping as he immediately pulled out of her before you turned and slammed the door behind you. You ran down the stairs and grabbed your keys and suitcase again, you were fumbling with the handle of the stupid thing when Tom came racing down the stairs, the woman a few steps behind him, all he had on were his trackpants and you despised him for it. 

"Darling, wait, I can explain everything please." 

You whip around to fix him with the dirtiest glare you can muster and you smirk at his flinch when he sees the hate in your eyes. "Go ahead, Tom, be my guest. Tell me how this was just a one night stand, that you'll never even look at another woman. That this bitch doesn't hold a candle to me." 

"I think you ought to calm down," the blonde dared to say to you. 

You looked at her with complete disbelief on your face, "I think you ought to stop fucking other people's boyfriends before I would even think of listening to you. Get the fuck out of my house before I slap you, slut." 

The woman actually had the audacity to look affronted and she whined at your boyfriend, "Tom!" 

"No she's right, Claire, you should go. I'll call you later," Tom curtly replied, not taking his eyes off you. 

When the front door shut behind her you turned back to look at Tom with a raised eyebrow. "This has been going on longer than just one night hasn't it, Tom." 

Tom looked away with regret in his eyes and he ran his fingers through his hair roughly. "Yes, God I'm so sorry, Y/N. It just happened and then we saw each other again. I never meant to hurt you. Please just let me make it up to you. Just give me another chance." 

"Tom, you know how I feel about cheaters. I haven't spoken to my mum in two years because of what she did to my father. Now how fucking long have you been seeing her?" 

Tom whispered something under his breath and you said to speak up and he looked into your eyes mournfully and said quietly, "One year." 

Your heart broke at that and you could only shake your head at Tom as more tears fell. "How fucking dare you?" 

"I'm so unbelievably sorry, darling." 

You turn away from his reaching hands and grab your bag and suitcase, you walk out the door not before turning back to him and saying, "I wish you both all the luck in the world. I really did think you were it for me. I would have had your babies, Tom. I would have died for you. Just know that you fucked it all up." 

Tom's face crumbles at this and he begins to cry, you bite your lip at the sight of him in pain and leave. You get into your car and wait a few minutes, just crying and thinking about where you could go. You'd had enough of hotels and you just wanted to fly home to Australia but didn't want to burden your brother or father so you decided you had nowhere else to go but to Ben's place. You sighed as you started the engine and floored it when you saw Tom stumbling out the door in tears. You make it to Ben's in no time, the British elite all living in the same area of London, and you grab your bags and try to put on a happy face for your friend. You knock on his door and almost make it a second of smiling before you just crumble and start sobbing on Ben's doorstep, he looks shocked by your reaction and immediately reaches to get your bags and pulls you gently inside his house. He guides you towards the couch and you collapse into his lap crying your heart out. He strokes your hair, asking you what's wrong and saying it'll be alright but that just makes you sob harder yelling that nothing will ever be alright again. Eventually you calm down enough to tell Ben what the hell is going on and once the story is out he looks livid saying that he can't believe that Tom would do this and all you can think to say is that he should probably stop the pool about the proposal. He gives you the most heart-wrenching look and pulls you to his chest as a fresh wave of tears overtake you. You stay in his arms for hours, only getting up to get more tea and blankets and eventually you just feel exhausted staring at the setting sun on the wall with your head resting on his neck, feeling his breath on your face and his hands rubbing your arm and back. 

Both of you were startled out of your dazed bubble when you heard keys jangling in the lock, you give Ben a look as if asking whether he was expecting anyone and he just shakes his head. You wait and when Tom stumbles through the door you sigh and rub your eyes for any stray tears. Tom looks confused for a second like he doesn't quite know where he is but then he turns to the two of you on a couch and an unfriendly sneer sneaks across his features. "Didn't know you had it in you to sleep with one of my best friends but then again before we got together you did have a habit of sleeping with anyone," he slurs. 

Your mouth drops open, never had you heard Tom sound like this even when you two were fighting, he was always of the utmost decorum. You look at yourselves and realise how it must look, you in your singlet and Ben shirtless, his shirt long ago soaked with snot and tears, both covered in blankets. Ben got up and warily approached Tom, trying to placate him with a soothing voice, "Come on mate, don't say something you'll regret. We've done nothing wrong. You're drunk Tom, you need to sleep it off and think about what you've done." 

"Don't you fucking lecture me, you bastard. You slept with Y/N and I'm going to punch you in the face." You get up and rush to stop Tom but in his drunken state his aim was way off and he managed to sock you in the eye. You cry out in pain and fall backwards, crumbling to the floor. 

Ben pushes Tom away and rushes to your side, asking if you're okay and for you to take away your hands so he can see the damage. You gingerly lift your hands and he sucks in a breath at your already swelling and purpling left eye. You're crying freely now, your vision hazy and your eye white hot with agony. Tom having just realised what he's done drops to his knees and reaches out for you but you flinch away from him and scramble backwards desperate to get away from him. You could feel the hopelessness of everything that had happened today and you realised that you and Tom would never be okay again, you start to wail loudly, full open mouth crying that has you gasping for air. Tom isn't much better and he almost looks as bad as you do. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for this chapter. I've put in an alert before the paragraph that describes in detail the act of self-harm. Please do not read the rest of the chapter if this type of writing will trigger you. Please look after yourselves and do what's best for you. xxx

The next few weeks were undoubtedly the hardest ones of your life but Ben helped you through them. You had found a small apartment on the other side of town and the only thing you had left to do to make it official was retrieve your stuff from Tom's place. You had been putting it off for so long, ever since you saw the magazines talking about his newest love and wondering where you had gone. Tonight you were going out on the town with Ben and a few close friends, you felt that if you found a decent guy and had a night of fun then it might be easier to get over your heartache. 

You gazed at your reflection in the mirror and gave a half-hearted smile. You wore a tight black dress that had a neckline that plunged to below your sternum, and was cut out at the hips and replaced with sheer fabric, your shoes were bright red stilettos and your eye make up was smoky and sensual. Your lips were painted the same bright red as your heels and your chest looked phenomenal. Your breasts had always been one of your best features and Tom had always loved this dress on you, you had worn it to your first red carpet event and the paparazzi couldn't get enough of it. That was the only time you had felt like the public fully accepted you and Tom together, every other time you had been in the media it had been to complain about what you wore, how tired you looked and what you were like compared to Tom's co-stars.

You and Ben did shots of tequila before you called for a taxi and headed for the centre of the night life area of London. You walked into the club, the bass already reverberating through your heart and you both made your way to the bar to meet your other friends. You ordered a margarita and sipped on it as you listened to the predictable outcries of your friends about Tom, how he was an asshole that never deserved you and that he would never find someone as great as you. It didn't help but you appreciated how they couldn't understand what to say to you. You faced the dance floor and let the music seep into your veins as you slowly finished your drink, not having drunk in a while you could already feel the effects of the alcohol warm your cheeks and send a pleasant buzz through your body. You caught the eye of a tall brunette and you gave him your best sexy smile, he returned it and made a come hither gesture at you. Placing your glass back on the bar top and you make your way across the crowded room towards him moving your hips more than necessary. 

Hell is Around the Corner by Tricky starts playing as you reach the handsome stranger. His hands circle your waist and he pulls you to his body, your bodies start to gyrate to the music and you can feel the heat generating between you two. You hands move to the man's neck and your faces move closer, just as the guy's lips move towards yours you smirk and turn around, backing your ass into his hardening crotch. You hear him chuckle in your ear and he whispers how much he likes the bad girls. He starts kissing your neck and you love how it feels to finally not have to worry about anything, to feel wanted by a complete stranger that you won't ever see again. 

The man's hand moves to your chin and he gently pulls your face back to his, his mouth crashes down upon yours and he completely claims it, you let him and your hand travels to the impressive package in his trousers. The man growls into your mouth and you smile as his hands tighten around your waist. You pull away, continuing to dance when you see Tom sitting on one of the lounges with that girl Claire next to him and some of your other friends. All of them are staring at you and you suddenly feel ashamed of what you're doing and what you're wearing. Tom's words from the other night at Ben's house come back to you and you blink back your tears. You had never felt ashamed about your sexuality and Tom said when you first started dating that he didn't mind that you had slept with a fair amount of people, that he wasn't some patriarchal chauvinist who needed his women to be of moral purity. 

But now you felt Tom's disapproval digging into your skin and you saw Claire mouth the word "slut" into Tom's ear. The slightest movement of his head in a nod breaks your heart and you move away from the stranger giving some flimsy excuse and making your way to the bathrooms. You're almost at the female bathroom when a hand circles your wrist and pulls you back, you aren't surprised to see Tom standing there. "What do you want?" you angrily spit out. 

"I want to know how long it would take before another guy were to come fuck you after that loser in there is finished?" Tom hissed. 

You jerk back as if he had slapped you and you remember the pain of being punched in the face by him, this hurt more. "What?" you whisper. 

"I bet you'd have a constant line of men to fuck you every night of the week. You're so depraved and stupid, you actually think you're going to make me jealous when I have Claire?" 

"I didn't even know you'd be here!" 

"Bullshit. I'm not even surprised that you'd stoop this low, Christ you're pathetic. I don't know how I put up with your shit for so long. You actually think I'd even go there with you when I have Claire in my life now? She's interesting and sexy and far more attractive to me than you've ever been. I suggest you leave, the security doesn't appreciate tramps using their club to find poor sods to fuck them for a few hours and then leave." 

You're in tears now and you rip away from Tom's arms just as a camera flashes in front of you, there's a group of photographers capturing your little scene and you quickly push through them, desperate to get away from Tom's poisonous words. 

You make your way down the wet London street, ignoring the wolf whistles of men, the thought of being on their minds is sickening to you. You stop by a liquor store and you buy a bottle of vodka, you've finished half of it by the time you get back to your apartment. The icy hot needles of anxiety were piercing the back of your neck and hands. You felt like the door was about to be battered down by more paparazzi to publish your shame to the world. You knew that you would be painted as the assailant instead of the victim in tomorrow's headlines and you despised it. Tom would always be the golden boy, the cherished jewel of the British Isles while you were an expendable woman who once dated a star and now had nothing. You were nothing. No one would miss you if you were gone. No one would even know if you cut yourself until you had made yourself feel better. You hadn't cut in four years, not since the very first articles of your inadequacy for Tom were published. Tom had found you and you had cried in his arms all night, he took care of you and didn't judge you. He knew that you had a severe anxiety disorder and depression but he never loved you less because of it. 

TRIGGER WARNING

Since the break up you had started to feel the effects of the anxiety again, you hadn't in so long because every time you had felt anxious, you had Tom to take care of you. But now with no one and an empty apartment and an almost empty bottle of spirits you felt the itch to cut. You needed to have some control in your life, to feel something physically rather than emotionally, to know that the pain was your own, you had made it and not Tom or anyone else. You found the old tin box of razors that you hid behind the couch and pulled out the sharpest one you could find. You settle the bottle of vodka down beside you and you sat down on the living room floor. You rolled the hem of your dress up until the scarred tops of your thighs were visible. The scars had long turned white and now just look the soft, gentle brush strokes. You picked up your brush and brought it down hard across your canvas, slicing through it and leaving a trail of red paint. You watched as the blood welled up from the deep rift in your skin. You barely registered the pain in your drunken haze and a little voice told you that doing this right now might not be such a good idea but then Tom's words filled your head and your eyes filled with tears again as you sliced some more. By the time your legs had started to burn unbearably your thighs were drenched in blood and the floor was beginning to pool with it. You tried to stand but fell down again, your legs wouldn't work and you tried to call out. You grabbed your phone lying next to you and you called Tom's number without thinking, he was the only one who knew how to deal with you in this state. 

"Y/N? I'm so sorry about what I said, I was drunk and angry." 

"I didn't know who else to call," you slurred as black spots started to appear in your vision. 

"Darling? Why do you sound strange? Why do you need me? Where are you?" Tom asked, panicked. 

"I did something stupid." 

"How stupid?" Tom's voice had dropped low. 

"The stupidest. I'm at my new apartment, Ben knows where. Help me." 

"Jesus fuck!" Tom's voice cut off as you fell backwards on the hard floor and you smiled as the pain and all your worries and anxiety finally lifted. 


	4. Chapter 4

TOM'S POV

Tom ran to find Ben, when he did he quickly explained the situation and the two of them hopped into a taxi to your apartment fearing the worst. Tom burst through your apartment door and found you unconscious lying in a pool of your own blood, he yelled at Ben to call an ambulance and he rushed to your side ripping of his shirt and pressing down on your ripped up thighs he started shaking your face in his hands but you gave no impression that you knew he was there. Tears started streaming down his face as he felt your heartbeat grow fainter and fainter and your face paled. This was all his fault, he'd let himself become something he never wanted to be, he never wanted to treat you with anything less than the respect you deserved. He was a complete arsehole to you and he had fucked up beyond repair. You were the woman he was meant to wake up next to every morning and listen to the patter of your children's feet run towards your bedroom and the two of you would smile at each other knowingly, steeling yourselves for the bodies that would no doubt dive atop yours. You could potentially die because of how horrendously he had treated you. You, who he had never thought he could treat badly, who he thought would always be by his side until he made a fatal mistake and had decided he wanted a break from the perfect woman he had been so lucky to find. 

The ambulance arrived and Ben pushed Tom away when he tried to ride in the van beside you, Tom understood why but he was still so hurt by this. He couldn't bear something happening to you while he wasn't there to at least try to do something. He needed to know that you would be all right, that you'd wake up with that gorgeous smile on your face, the one that dimpled your cheeks and showed your teeth, the one that squinted your eyes as you stretched like a cat pushing your little feet against his legs. You looked so tiny with the medical equipment surrounding you and the EMTs shouting orders at each other to try and stable you and stop you from losing more  blood. Tom could only watch helplessly as the doors closed an the ambulance sped leaving no evidence of its presence save for the echo of the sirens. He decided that he would pack a bag of your things for when you woke up, because you had to wake up. So he headed back into your apartment and he pointedly looked away from the bloody puddle, he would have to clean that up too before it soaked into the wood. He grabbed a mop and bucket and quickly cleaned away the mess. He took a deep breath and look at his pink hands before he ran to the sink and threw up everything that was in his stomach. Shakily he made his way back into the living room and smiled at how familiar this place was even though he had never been here before. It had your essence in everything that decorated the room despite most of your things still being at his place. You had your potted and hanging plants everywhere, the high exposed steel beams allowing the ferns to turn your living space into a tropical escape. The Aztec style rugs were everywhere in hues of red and orange, the wals hung with patterned cloths of the warmest earthen colours and the low leather couch decorated in Moroccan cushions made the room burst with arid heat. He walked towards your bedroom and was instantly cooled down by the peacock blue walls and white furnishings. He opened your wardrobe and pulled out a loose long skirt and shirt and stuffed them into a bag along with a fresh pair of underwear, hairbrush, deodorant and your medication. He looked at your bed and his breath was knocked out of his lungs when he saw his old university shirt lying across your pillow, fresh tears welled up in his eyes as he remembered you adamantly packing the garment into your bags before your trip despite his half-arsed protests. He actually loved that you wore his clothes and that you always felt more comforted when you had something of his when you went away. The thought of you lying in your empty bed holding his shirt to your nose made his heart ache with how much he missed you in his arms. He needed you back but most of all he needed you better and happy and smiling again even if those radiant smiles weren't directed at him. He left your apartment with his shirt on his back and your bag of things in his arms, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. 

***

You heard beeping before you felt the burning, the familiar rawness of your wounds after you gave in to cutting. You blearily opened your eyes and took in the dim hospital room, the familiar smell of cleaning products and fresh laundry invading your nostrils. You heard breathing next to you and both of your hands were clasped tightly in two different sets of hands. Looking to your left you saw Ben sleeping with his head back against his chair, mouth wide open but his large hands clasping yours. You smiled and turned to your other side and it quickly faded when you saw Tom sleeping with his head resting against your hip his hands cradling yours under his chin. He stirred when you took your hands back and he quickly shot awake and he looked like he was re-establishing his bearing before his eyes zoomed in on yours and he mouthed your name. You couldn't bear the look in his eyes and turned away from him but his hand reached out to grab ahold of your chin gently and pulled you back until your eyes met again. You blinked back your tears and mostly failed, his own eyes filled with tears and you couldn't do anything except mouth the words "I'm sorry."

His hands took yours again and he stroked your fingers before he looked at you again and mouthed "I know." 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm loving the comments you've been leaving me! Your enthusiasm for this story is the fuel to get me writing! So I have no idea how to finish this story, it'll most likely only be a chapter longer, depending on what happens. But I have zero ideas on how it should end. If you have an idea please feel free to comment it below! I'd really appreciate it!

Predictably, the doctors at the hospital wanted to admit you into a rehabilitation clinic because they feared you were suicidal and your BMI had severely dropped in a short time. However your psychologist stepped in and managed to convince them that this was not the right way to treat your anxiety and depression and instead you would have to live with a friend for a few weeks and see your psychologist once a week. You didn't like that you had to  put Ben out of his home but he insisted he was happy to do it and you didn't really have a choice anyway. You hadn't seen Tom since you first woke up, you were angry at him and yourself. Him, because he was a complete and utter bell end to you at the club and yourself because you had let yourself lapse then had called him instead of Ben or an ambulance. It was fine when you were still in hospital being treated for blood loss and malnutrition but after those three days spent in hospital and you turned your phone on again Tom would call you nonstop. He kept calling you and leaving voicemails of him apologising profusely, and he sounded sincere, but you kept letting them ring out, you still didn't know what to say to him. A few days after arriving home you started receiving flowers every day, roses, peonies, chrysanthemums, irises, potted orchids, lilies, basically you received an entire greenhouse of flowers but you continued to ignore his calls. Ben was mildly amused by the charade despite that he was still genuinely pissed off at Tom. Once the three weeks were up and you were feeling a lot less anxious Ben could finally return to his own house and you were once again living in your home with half of your possessions. It finally became unbearable when you realised all your CD's and records were still at his place so you sent him a text saying you were coming over to collect all of your stuff and if he could please not be there for the day that'd be wonderful. You'd use your key to his place then leave the key under his doormat on the way out. 

You pulled up at Tom's lovely two storey stone house with two large oaks out the front of it. You'd fallen in love with this house the minute you saw it, the trees were gorgeous and made it look Victorian, his lovely library that the two of you would read away hours in, his modern but classic styled kitchen, his Chesterfield furniture set and all the beautiful antique rugs that reminded you of the ones your father had inherited from his parents and filled your childhood home with. You walked up the cobblestone path that lead its way through the front garden and at the door you gazed at the wisteria hanging down over the little shelter above the house's entrance. You put the key in the lock and twisted, you pushed the door open and you were instantly hit with Tom's home's smell; a mix of leather, books orange and the garden's many different flowers. You closed your eyes for a second as you were triggered by the smell and you were taken back to the day your world had ended. You shook those feelings away and proceeded to dump your cardboard boxes you had brought with you and carried one around putting your things in it. You decided to leave all of the things that Tom had given you and instead just located the things you had bought yourself. You made your way into the living room with your second box when you came across Tom sitting in his leather armchair rightly looking sheepish. Almost dropping your box in frustration you gave him your most withering look and put your hands on your hips, your classic pissed off move and Tom's pet peeve. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" 

Tom stood up and made his way in front of you.  _Dammit, I forgot how tall he is, bastard._ "Wow. It's not like I live here or anything." 

"I mean, what are you doing here when I texted you asking if you could kindly step out of your house for a day so I could come and get my shit." 

"Oh, you know how to use your phone? I must be terribly mistaken because I thought I was solely keeping phone companies in business with the millions of times I called you." 

"That's because I don't have anything to say to you, alright? I think it would be much better for us if we just didn't associate with each other, not when the last time we exchanged words ended up like it did." 

"Well I think you took it a little bit far when you got yourself put in the hospital and made those that care about you fear that you wouldn't make it through the night," 

"Fuck you, Tom. You know I have anxiety and depression, I was drunk, upset and deeply hurt by your display of classy slut shaming. Don't think I didn't notice your girlfriend's man stealing hand sneaking into your trousers so you can just get off your high horse about how people need to act with a bit of propriety in clubs." 

"I said I was sorry! I am so sorry for what I said to you but you have to admit you were acting like a little bit of a tart." 

"No I will never admit to that Tom, because thanks to you I have to act like that sometimes if I'm ever going to sleep with someone again. Oh and by the way, when we first started dating I never once heard you complain about the amount of sexual partners I've had, in fact you said it was hot." 

"Well I didn't, I just said that because I didn't want to hurt your feelings but I would suggest you not telling any future guy you might meet the number of people you've slept with because it's really off putting." 

"Thanks for the advice. Here's some for you, next time you've been in a committed relationship for a number of years maybe try not sleeping behind her back and you won't have to suffer another relationship breakdown. Would you like me to write that down for you? I know it's a little complicated to remember by heart." 

"For fucks sakes, I'm so sorry about that. I was lonely, I missed you and frankly I just really wanted to get laid. That was a mistake and calling her when you were out of town all those times after were huge mistakes too." 

"Yeah no fucking shit mate. You think I wasn't lonely? You think I didn't want to sleep with that hot waiter that winked at me that one time in a restaurant? Everyone is entitled to fantasies and everyone gets lonely and horny, but decent people don't act on those whims. And you think I have loose morals, check yourself first."

"God, you're so fucking annoying. Thanks for stating the obvious there. How many times do I have to say that I'm sorry?! I know I'm a bastard for what I did to you. But Jesus, I learn from my mistakes, can you say the same?" 

"What the fuck are you going on about now?" 

"I'm talking about you not taking responsibility for your illness, anticipating your urge to hurt yourself and calling for help before you do something so unbelievably stupid. You just cause so much damage and you don't even know how you inconvenience people." 

"Hey, I didn't ask Ben to stay with me for three weeks, I was literally forced to do that. And I'm sorry but if you had anything close to what I have you'd know that no matter how much therapy you've received once the depression and anxiety take over there's literally nothing you can do to stop yourself." 

"Bullshit. That's such a weak excuse." 

"Oh forgive me. I completely forgot that you're an expert on mental illness." 

Tom just scoffed and turned away from you. You were so angry at him, that he had the gall to say any of this to your face. You couldn't believe this is the man you had fallen in love with, who you were willing to spend the rest of your life with. 

"Look whatever, can you please just leave so I can grab my shit?" 

"No, I'm not going to just vacate my house because you're too immature to act like an adult." 

"Fine, fuck you." 

You turn away from him picking up your box and marched towards the cabinet with all of your music in it. You started packing again and tried to ignore Tom who followed you from room to room. 

"Why aren't you taking this? It's yours," Tom said. You turned around and saw that he held the antique metal filigree jewellery box he had given you for your second anniversary. It had been his grandmother's and he'd asked his mother if he could give it to you.

"I'm not taking anything you gave me. It's not right."

"Oh come on, don't be so childish. Who else am I going to give it to? It's yours."

"I don't know Tom, whoever comes after your current girlfriend maybe?"

"For fucks sakes, just take the damn thing, Y/N!" He walked up to you and put it in your box. You immediately took it out and put it back on the table. "You're so frustrating!"

Tom moved closer until the two of you were staring each other down, faces inches away, your angry breathing wafting over the other's face. The tension snapped when Tom leaned closer and kissed you. Immediately alarm bells went off in your head and your hands move to his shoulders to shove him back but at the press of his lips on yours you instead pulled him closer. His teeth bit into your bottom lip and you moaned and gripped his hair in your fingers tightly. He growled and grabbed your waist tightly pulling you to him firmly and then moving you back until you were crushed between his body and the wall. His hands grabbed yours and pinned them to the wall as he bit into your neck roughly before soothing the hurt with his tongue. You could feel yourself grow steadily wetter and his hard cock pressing into your belly wasn't helping. This felt so right even when your mind was screaming that it was wrong, you had never felt like this about anyone; like you were going to catch alight from the touches of his fingertips.

His hands went up and under your shirt and he groaned when he was able to feel your hard nipples through the lace of them. His hands scrabbled to undo your bra before going back to hold your wrists in one hand while the other gripped your left breast and you moaned loudly when his hot wet mouth enclosed around your sensitive nipple, you longed to grip his head closer to your chest when you felt his teeth nibble on the peak then suck it back into his mouth with loud shameless sounds. He switched breasts and he left hand went to your skirt and he growled against your skin when he felt how drenched your panties had become. He shoved the soaking material aside before shoving a finger into your pussy, you bucked against his hard cock and almost came right then from how good it felt to be touched. His middle finger easily found your G spot and he relished the loud moans that came from your mouth when he began to relentlessly stroke it. His other hand went to his trousers and he unzipped them, pulling his long leaking cock through the opening and he picked you up, resting your weight against the wall and holding your legs in place with his strong hips and thighs. He rubbed his cock against your clit for a bit and you felt your orgasm building up, when his cock plunged into your cunt you immediately came, clenching your pussy around his thick cock and gripping his hair hard. He moaned loudly at the feeling of your cunt milking his cock, he immediately started fucking you at a fast pace, barely leaving your cunt before plunging back in again. His mouth sucked at your neck and his hands gripped your ass, massaging your cheeks as he continued to pound into you, only caring about his impending orgasm. You pulled his face to yours and he whimpered when your wet tongue licked his lips and then your mouth followed, enveloping his tongue in your soft wet mouth. His hips stuttered as he began to come inside you, sucking your bottom lip in his, your sweet mouth that pushed him over the edge. You hadn't had sex like that in months and you felt yourself already starting to black out from the pleasure the last thing you felt was Tom gently carrying you to the couch and lying down next to you, cuddling you to his chest and murmuring how much he loved you. 

You woke up as the sun was basking the room in warm orange and pink light, you were disoriented for a moment before everything came back to you and you turned around to see Tom smiling at you.  _Huh?_ Tom nuzzled into your neck and pressed shivery kisses on your skin. He dove in for a quick kiss and his mouth was gone before you could protest.  _How could you protest? I have no idea how to deal with this situation._ Tom's hands stroked your back soothingly and he flashed you another blissful smile. 

"I'm so glad we're back together. I love you so much Y/N." 

You drew back from Tom with a frown and started buttoning up your blouse. "Tom, that wasn't us getting back together. That was a stupid mistake and it'll never happen again. I haven't forgiven you." 

Tom looked at you with the most heartbreakingly astonished face, he looked away and seemed to blink away tears. "I'll just leave then so you can get your shit, text me when you're gone." He walked away from you shaking his head and you began to cry when he slammed the door. 

You were so confused about everything, this was all new to you and you had no idea what you were doing. Everything was so wrong but for those moments with Tom everything had finally felt good again, like your life made sense again. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the unexpected hiatus! Things have been a bit of a whirlwind for me, finishing up my uni semester and getting a boyfriend :3 My time has been divided between studying and him. But I'm now on holidays and nothing is holding me back! I would still love more suggestions as to how you would like this story to end and as always I'm always up for ideas for new stories :) thank you for reading! I was overwhelmed by the response to this fic!!! xox

You hadn't really left your apartment in a while, ordering take out and with a pantry full of alcohol you were pretty much convinced you could survive for a couple of weeks like this. The media had been awash with images of you leaving Tom's house and rumours were circulating though of course none of them were remotely close to the truth, how could they be? Not when everyone loved Tom's new girlfriend and the notion of him cheating was unimaginable.  _Ha if only they knew_. You were flicking through the channels on your TV, wrapped up in your softest blankets with the remains of your Indian take out on the coffee table in front of you. You grasped a large glass of Riesling in your hand and you were feeling quite good, the white wine had gone straight to your head. You flicked over to The Graham Norton Show and stopped when you saw Tom. He looked really good in that deep green velvetjacket and dark blue pants. He was caught in a laugh shared with the beloved Irishman and you almost stopped breathing. It had been so long since you had seen Tom laugh like that, once upon a time it would have been because of something you had said. You dropped the remote and let the intoxicated uninhibited version of you get away with this guilty deed. You wanted to know how he was and you had to do it the same way as everyone else watching the show. After a story or two, ones that you remembered very well and had put a heaviness in your heart, the subject of you came up. Graham was asking why the media was so obsessed with the footage of you leaving his house and why you had broken up. 

Tom heaved a heavy sigh and suddenly looked ten years older, his eyes were mournful as he talked about you collecting your stuff from his house. Graham sympathised of course then gushed about how much he liked Tom's new girlfriend. Tom looked livid and he slammed his scotch down on a table. "I wish everyone would stop hating Y/N, she's a fantastic woman and no one will ever know how much. I've hurt her very deeply, I've said terrible terrible things I sorely regret and I only wish the media would stop abusing her and coming up with farcical nonsense about the nature of our break up. None of it was her fault, she is the victim in all this and I would like for you all to respect her privacy and leave her the bloody hell alone. In fact I think it's high time that all of you found out how we broke up. So you can stop saying nasty things to her and finally direct them at the person responsible; me. I cheated on Y/N with Claire." 

The audience gasped as one with you. 

"It was my biggest mistake and I regret hurting her. I shouldn't have done it, I know but I did and now I will regret it for the rest of my life. Y/N is the woman I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life and I buggered it up. I will never stop feeling guilty." 

You grabbed the remote and switched off the TV. What Tom had just done was huge, infidelity was a huge deal in his world and his career could suffer for it. His agents would be furious with him and you doubted he would walk away from this unscathed. You appreciated what Tom had said and you finally believed that he was sorry. Now you thought that you could finally move on. 

**

You got a call from Ben the next morning reminding you of the promise you had made to him to be his date to an awards evening. You groaned and told him that you were drunk when you had accepted his invitation but he insisted that it was binding and that it was too late for you to cancel, you conceded that point and grumbled that you would be ready by 7. 

You had your hair and make up done and now all you had to do was put on the dress and heels. The dress that Tom bought for you, for the very event you were attending with Ben tonight. 

 You sighed and slipped on the lilac dress. It was a beautiful dress that was the perfect mix of sexy and classy, it was made from a soft, floaty material that glided along your limbs and made you feel like rivulets of water were caressing your legs. The neckline was deep and plunging but you pulled it off and made the scandalous skin showing look elegant. You had instantly fallen in love with this dress while shopping with Tom and had sighed at the price tag, too big for your meagre budget. The next day you had been completely taken by surprise when you saw it resting on your bed and Tom had said that the look on your face and seeing you in it were worth the price. 

Wearing the dress tonight as Ben's date seemed almost like a betrayal to Tom but you wanted him to see you in it so he could see what he was missing out on. You didn't feel like he deserved too much of your spite any more after publicly denigrating himself but you still wanted to see his jaw drop. You smiled into the mirror and applied your lipstick, a soft glowing pink that set off the glitter in your light purple eye shadow. You had never felt so beautiful in your entire life. You heard a knock at the door and you quickly pulled on your white satin heels and grabbed your clutch and walked to the door. When you opened it Ben's smile fell and his mouth opened wide, that was the reaction you wanted from Tom. 

"Fuck, Y/N, you look beautiful. Tom's going to be kicking himself." 

You threw back your head and laughed at his words and took his hand that he offered to guide you down the steps from your door. A gorgeous, classic English racing green Jaguar was waiting to take you to the event and you luxuriated on the brown leather seats as you were driven there. When you neared the flashing lights of the venue you began to feel sick. Would the paparazzi still bother you even after Tom's words? Would they criticise what you wore? 

You stepped out of the car and took Ben's arm and he put his other hand on the small of your back and gave you a reassuring look. He nodded at you and you breathed deeply and smiled. The two of you made your way up the red carpeted stairs and suddenly the flashes of the cameras were directed at you, the screams of the crowds seemed to grow louder until everything else was almost drowned out. Everyone was going wild for Ben, one of the nominated actors of course and you could only feel pride for his accomplishments. But then suddenly interviewers were rushing up to the two of you and of course their questions were aimed at Ben, but then you were completely taken aback when they started asking you about your dress, who you were wearing and if you and Ben were now an item. The paparazzi wanted photos of only you and you looked at Ben for a buffer but he just laughed and pushed himself away so that the photographers could get their photos of you. You were completely gob smacked by their response to you and you slowly began to smile. They asked for you to twirl and you laughed out loud as you did so. The crowd went wild and you felt giddy at this reception, never had you felt so accepted by the public. You finally got back to Ben and your shyness returned so you let him do all of the talking while you gazed at all of the other stars, not believing that you were this close to Helena Bonham Carter. Then the screams grew deafening and everyone around you turned to look at who had arrived.

It was none other than Tom Hiddleston and he had arrived alone, something that the journalists immediately pounced on. You strained to hear his answers but couldn't hear anything over the desperate cries of his fans. Not until one photographer spoke to another, "Did you hear Tom? He and Claire have broken up!"

 You couldn't believe your ears, Tom was no longer with that woman, he was single again. Someone pointed at you and then Tom turned around and suddenly your eyes met, but not for long, his eyes drifted down your form and with your leg exposed to the top of your thigh and your cleavage on clear display you felt naked. His eyes wondered back up to yours and you blushed when he licked his lips, whether or not it was unconscious you would never know but you shyly turned around and hid behind Ben. But of course Tom would greet his friend and Ben replied to him and they began to chat, on better terms than they had been since the break up. Tom's eyes kept wondering to you and you had to keep looking away. He looked so handsome tonight you couldn't bear his heated glances.

You walked away for a little bit gazing at the general splendour and overheard one journalist, "Look at how Tom keeps looking at her! He's so in love with her, and who wouldn't be when she's in that dress? She's a vision."

You blushed and walked back towards Ben, everyone was starting to walk inside the building, the ceremony was about to begin. Ben took your arm again and you didn't miss the way Tom glared at Ben's turned head. You turned around and followed Ben into the grand ballroom and smirked at his reaction. You found your table and of course Tom would just happen be seated next to you. You do your best to ignore his beautifully rich voice and his elegant hand holding his champagne flute. Your heart fluttered every time he leaned over you to say something to Ben and you smelt his cologne. It was the one you had given him for his birthday a year after you had gotten together and it never failed to make your mouth water. 

When his name was called for Best Actor you had to comply and applaud, his performance had been nothing short of fantastic. When he sat back down everyone at the table paid him compliments and congratulations and you knew you had to as well. So you leaned over to him and spoke to him for the first time since the day you had collected your things from his place.

  
"Congratulations, Tom. It really was a brilliant performance." 

He looked touched at your words and he gave you a bright smile. "Thank you, Y/N." 

You looked around you to make sure that no one was listening and whispered so that it would only reach his ears. "Thank you for apologising so publicly, you really didn't have to risk your career." 

"Yes I did. It was the only thing that would have sufficed the wrong I did to you. Again, I am so sorry for what I did to you and for what I said at the club." 

You nodded and didn't deny his words. Obviously you were very gratified by what he had done and you felt that he had grovelled enough for you to at least accept what he had done and move on. You had never been able to fully embrace hate, you'd never had the perseverance for it. 

Then Tom leaned right up close to your ear, so close that you felt his warm breath waft over your ear and made you shiver and his cologne blocked your senses. "I might get a slap for saying this and you would be welcome to, but you look absolutely ravishing. It's not my place any more but I wish I could slid my hand up that strategically placed thigh slit and show you exactly how much I love seeing you in that dress. You know how much I cannot bear to see your legs and gorgeous chest exposed like that. I'm sure every man in this room are having similar thoughts and I'm so full of regret that I wouldn't be able to do a damn thing to stop them. Fuck baby you look so fucking beautiful and enticing. If you were still mine I'd drag you to the coat cupboard and make love to you up against the wall. Baby..." He groaned the last word and you convulsed so hard that he noticed and smirked at his effect on you. 

You quickly stood up from the table and gave your excuses before making your way towards the bathroom. Tom's words had you breathing so heavily, your heart thumping and your pussy throbbing, already you could feel the satin of your panties getting soaked from the images he had put in your head. You were angry at him though, so mad you could throw him against the wall and attack him, but you didn't even know if it would be violent or passionate. He had no right to say those things to you and yet he was single and you had almost forgiven him hadn't you? Or at least you were mature enough to move past it. But God you wanted him. No amount of horribleness could ever erase your passion for Tom Hiddleston, the man knew everything about you including the fact that he could get you going just from his words. Just as you knew that licking and biting that one spot on his neck could get him gasping and moaning like a virgin.  _Whoa, easy girl, do not even go there._  

You were almost at the bathroom when a cool, smooth hand gripped your wrist and gently pulled you towards a hard body. You could have easily broken away, Tom wasn't that much of a dick that he would hold you against your will and he knew you could leave if you wanted to. He chuckled at this and you cursed yourself and him under your breath. "What's the matter baby? My words too much for you? I remember when I used to be able to utter one filthy sentence in your ear and you'd be begging to have my cock fucking you. Are you soaking wet? Are you angry I still know how to make you this way? Mmm baby? Talk to me, yeah baby? Tell me how daddy can make it better, baby girl." 

Your eyes rolled back into your head and you let out a long, low moan when he called himself that. The two of you had discovered your minor daddy kink a few years ago when he kept calling you baby girl one night. The word had slipped out of your mouth before you could stop yourself and the two of you had fucked hard and rough that night. Tom chuckled darkly in your ear again, his breath sent shivers down your spine and you hated yourself for turning into putty in his hands. You decided to turn the tables and get revenge. 

Tom was surprised when you turned around and he saw the fire in your eyes. You grabbed his perfectly tousled, golden curls and brought his neck down to your lips. You sucked, nibbled and licked that one place over his vein and his hands suddenly gripped your hips and he pushed you against the nearest wall. He groaned loudly in your ear and rubbed himself against you like a horny teenage. You smiled against his skin and gave him one last nip and relished his gasp. "Don't think you hold all the power Thomas. Never forget that I know you better than anyone and know all the ways to make you submit to me." 

Tom moaned into your neck at your words, he had always loved it when the dominant side of you came out to play. If you ever gave him commands in bed he would get instantly hard and melted under your touch, you loved it. 

"Please baby. I know I fucked up but I love you so much, please let me make it up to you. I'll do anything." 

You pulled away to look into his eyes and your heart almost broke when you saw tears forming, threatening to spill.  _I love you too_. You found yourself speaking before you even knew what you were going to say, "Okay," you whispered. 

The most gorgeous smile broke out over his face and he buried his head under your chin and gripped you tight. He kept crying and whispering  _thank you's_ into your skin. You stroked his hair and felt pieces of you rushing to fill the void he had made months ago. You grabbed Tom's hand and began to lead him to the entrance so that the two of you could go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if you think Tom hasn't done enough to deserve the reader's forgiveness but I think he did quite a lot and the only way he can do more is if they're together. Only one chapter to go!! By the way, what do you think of the dress? I think it's absolutely gorgeous!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would be ever so grateful if you could please check out my first attempt at personal blogging. I will be posting excerpts from my diaries, a collection of my thoughts on anxiety, life and my earliest sexual experiences. They're funny, subjectively well-written and a hundred percent experienced by me! You would be doing me such an honour if you could please read it! Thanks to everyone who have been reading all of the stories I've posted on here, if you'd like a change of pace and something non-fiction then please have a look at my own sexual experiences. You'll get a laugh of of it, I promise! https://plantscatsandstories.wordpress.com/2017/03/16/first-blog-post/

You fell onto Tom's plush bed, his arms beneath you and his body landing on top of yours. He placed hurried kisses on your neck and collar bones, his fingers fiddled with the clasp and zipper of your dress and when he had it down he pulled you up again and slipped the beautiful gown over your head. He groaned at the sight of you in only your white lace panties and he quickly started to unbutton his dress shirt, your eyes travelled over his beautiful chest and your hands traced the lean muscles you knew were there. He craned his head back in a long moan and his hands guided yours to his trouser fastening. You breathed heavily as you undid the garment and you couldn't contain your moan when you saw just how much he was straining against his black boxers. His hands gently pushed you back onto the sheets and he came to kneel in between your legs, your feet still on the floor. His mouth began to kiss up your thighs, sucking and licking and biting his way closer to your panties. Your breath was coming out in short pants now and you needed his mouth just where he wouldn't put it. He sucked a love bite into the hollow of where your thigh met your crotch. You groaned loudly and struggled to find purchase in his curly hair, you gripped it tight, unconsciously pulling him closer to your core. 

He inhaled deeply and groaned deep and loud, his warm breath washed over you and you gasped with pleasure. His fingers pulled your panties down your legs and then his fingers were on you, spreading you open so that he could look at your glistening, wet cunny. He moaned again and gave your clit one tiny kitten lick, you convulsed and squeezed your thighs around his head and he wrapped his arms underneath them and pulled you closer to his mouth. He was completely buried in your skin and he seemed so content to stay there for a good long while. Finally his mouth closed over your core and he gave one strong suck, right at your hole that was leaking so much slick. His eyes closed and his tongue delved into your folds, licking up and licking strongly, pleasuring your clit to no end. His lips enclosed over your bud and his covered teeth began to delicately nibble at your pearl, sending shock waves through you and making your core clench hard. You needed to be filled and you needed to come. Tom knew this and he grinned at you fiendishly before continuing to give you strong, wide laps. He licked your pussy from clit to hole and then shoved his tongue inside your pussy and wiggled it there. Already you could feel the first caress of your orgasm and the tingling in your stomach, fingers and toes built up until all of the white light inside you had no where to go but escape your body. You shook and convulsed, your thighs squeezed his face strongly and you moaned out his name, But Tom did not stop licking you, did not stop sucking your clit and it became too much, you screamed and shook as another orgasm flooded over you, blocking all senses but pleasure throbbing from your cunt. And then he was up and shoving his cock inside you and immediately hit your G spot, that was it for you, you came a third time and almost passed out from the ecstasy. 

Never had you felt so good, you were hyper aware of yourself, you felt lost and vulnerable and Tom immediately picked up on this. He slowed his thrusts until his was gently pumping inside you, just barely brushing that spot inside you that made you lose yourself. His arms cradled you in them and he pressed many kisses all over your face, neck and hair. He was murmuring about how proud he was of you and saying that you were a goddess sent to light up his entire world, that he was a slave to your pleasure and that all he wanted to do was give you all the orgasms your body could summon. You felt instantly warmed by his words and moved your face upwards, eyes closed, seeking his soft lips. You felt him smiling against your mouth and you whimpered into his kiss, he licked up the sound and placed more delicate kisses on your lips. You felt loved and protected and cherished and that was exactly what you needed after such an intense sexual experience. You could feel him pulsing inside you and you knew he wanted to thrust at his own pace but he wouldn't, not until he was sure you were okay. You felt so full, his cock was stretching you and it felt amazing, the head of his cock was resting on your G spot now and you loved the light pressure of it. You lifted your legs and wrapped them around his waist, he drew back from you and sought your eyes, making sure that it was okay to continue. You blearily blinked up at him and nodded pulling his head down until it was buried into your neck and then, finally, he began to pump his cock into you. Gradually building up the speed and always making sure to aim at your spot, he was on a mission to give you as much pleasure as he could and you knew it was as much part of his apology as it was his selfish pleasure in seeing you in rapture. 

You were panting into his ear, the softest sweetest sounds coming from your mouth, you felt everything he was giving you and you could feel yourself slipping closer and closer to nirvana. He hips began to stutter and he was moaning about how good you felt, how wet you were and how your clenching pussy was the most amazing feeling. His teeth brushed over your neck and you lost it, you were convulsing over and over, the pleasure too much and you were barely aware of Tom coming inside you. He yelled your name and his hips came to a stuttering stop. You felt him brushing your skin with his fingers whispering words you couldn't comprehend. You felt yourself slipping away from him, the world dimming with only the faint throb of pleasure to send you off to sleep.

**

It had been five months since the awards night. Tom and you had been rebuilding your relationship and you had learned how to trust him again. You had insisted on staying in your apartment and as much as that hurt him he respected your wishes and waited patiently for the day you would move in. That day was today and he couldn't be more excited, he was like an eager puppy running around unpacking your things from the boxes and occasionally punching the air. You laughed at his silliness and continued to put your clothes back into the huge walk in closet in the master bedroom. He had still left your space for you, even after all this time and that warmed your heart. 

Finally when everything was blessedly finished the two of you decided to have dinner on his roof. The city lights spread before you, his roof had many plants on it, ones you in fact had planted there, and there were fairy lights strung up. It was your favourite place and you loved the warmth of the summer air brushing over your skin, getting under the light white cotton of your sun dress. Tom muttered something about going to get more wine and you hummed back at him, your eyes closed, lying on one of the recliners facing the city. You heard him come back a few minutes and sit on the other chair beside you. You smiled and opened your eyes and looked at him, in his hand was a tiny open box and inside it was the most gorgeous silver ring you had ever seen. It was a braided silver ring set with a delicate diamond and tears welled up in your eyes. 

Tom's eyes were just as wet and he moved to kneel in front of you. His hand clasped your face and you held it there with on of yours while the other went to his face. "My darling, darling girl would you please do me the utmost honour, make me the happiest man and marry me. I know we've been through hell but I've always known, you're who I'm meant to grow old with, who I'm meant to have babies with. No one makes me happier than you. You are my sun, my moon and my stars and I don't know how I'd navigate this restless sea that is life without my stars to guide me. My beautiful Y/N, please be mine forever and let me be yours." 

Tears were flowing freely now and you nodded repeatedly, you croaked out "Yes, my love. Yes I will be yours my darling and you will be mine. You have my heart, my soul and everything that I am." 

Tom started crying now too and he shakily removed the beautiful ring from the box, his trembling fingers gripped your left hand and slipped the ring onto your fourth finger. You grasped his face in both hands and leant down to kiss him, you poured your love into that kiss and he did the same. You lost yourselves in that kiss, time seemed to pass and your happiness was the only thing the two of you knew. You drew back to look at him, lit up by the lights of the city and the joy under his skin, the man you would always love, no matter how much of an idiot he could be. And he loved you too unconditionally. The two of you curled up on one recliner and fell asleep under the stars and the city lights, the brightness of them blending until neither could be told apart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is, the end to what felt like an extremely long story but to you was probably very short haha. Thank you so much for your support of this story, your kind words. Let me know what you thought of the ending and the ring hahaha. If you ever brainstorm some ideas for another story please let me know and I'll try to bring it to life!


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